Another long hard night...Eric was sleeping so good until about 12:30am then he woke up to alot of pain in his throat and mouth, stomach. I hope no one has weak stomach's, I am sorry if you do then you might want to not read further. Eric started coughing up alot of blood, it was the scariest thing I have ever seen. He was coughing up so much blood, the nurse was in here with us helping us. All of the sudden he started gauging and a long, thick rubbery, bloody seriously probably about 4 feet long came out. It was the grossest thing I think I have ever seen, I felt so bad for Eric, then he just kept coughing up blood.
The nurse said that he just coughed up part of his throat, stomach lining. Can you believe that? They say that Eric's whole insides of his body is like that. His lining of everything slufting off. She said to compare it, think of it as all of your outer layer of skin all over your body peeled off and your whole body is raw, red and sore with that outer layer not there anymore protecting you. That is what his whole body right now is going through, they kill the bad parts of your body with the chemo to get rid of all the bad cells and cancer but unfortunately they kill the good things, the good cells, the lining and protection as well.
He is in extreme pain, I am not sure I ever could have been prepared enough for all of this. It is a little unreal you know...I feel like I am watching a horrible torture movie. We were up until 3:30am, Eric had lost so much blood they were worried so they ordered a bag of platelets and transfused his through the night, they were concerned about internal bleeding and hemriging. They gave him extra morphine and we finally fell asleep at 4:30am - well Eric did. I was so upset and worried I could not go to sleep. The nurse Janey (she is from England and has a really pretty English accent) explained to me that she knows this is all very scary and that I am worried but that it really is part of the course and that this is the bad part of all this. She assured me that as scary as it seems Eric is on track with the process and that today is day 12 after transplant and that about a week of this extreme pain. Any day now she said hopefully he starts to graft and he will slowly turn a corner.
They say that usually from day 14 to day 21 most people start to graft, until then all this will just get worse before it can get better. Good news is though she said that once he starts to slowly graft he will turn that corner and the mouth.throat sores, linings, extreme pain, rashes, nausea, diarrhea it will all start to slowly get better. For now I just keep praying to the Lord, please continue to give him strength. Please allow him some relief, little breaks of rest, please bless his body that it will start to en graft, respond and that his donor's marrow will become his marrow. Bless Eric with love, peace and comfort- that he knows how much we love him and that he feels our prayers and most of all feels the angels that surround him to bear him up. Many scriptures I hold onto right now: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you...Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:18,27 "Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." Alma 36:3 " Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10. Through the night as I lay awake watching Eric finally sleep and worried I kept having one of my favorite child primary songs run over and over in my mind. "Child's Prayer" ..."Lord, Are you there? Do you hear my prayers?"
The nurse said that he just coughed up part of his throat, stomach lining. Can you believe that? They say that Eric's whole insides of his body is like that. His lining of everything slufting off. She said to compare it, think of it as all of your outer layer of skin all over your body peeled off and your whole body is raw, red and sore with that outer layer not there anymore protecting you. That is what his whole body right now is going through, they kill the bad parts of your body with the chemo to get rid of all the bad cells and cancer but unfortunately they kill the good things, the good cells, the lining and protection as well.
He is in extreme pain, I am not sure I ever could have been prepared enough for all of this. It is a little unreal you know...I feel like I am watching a horrible torture movie. We were up until 3:30am, Eric had lost so much blood they were worried so they ordered a bag of platelets and transfused his through the night, they were concerned about internal bleeding and hemriging. They gave him extra morphine and we finally fell asleep at 4:30am - well Eric did. I was so upset and worried I could not go to sleep. The nurse Janey (she is from England and has a really pretty English accent) explained to me that she knows this is all very scary and that I am worried but that it really is part of the course and that this is the bad part of all this. She assured me that as scary as it seems Eric is on track with the process and that today is day 12 after transplant and that about a week of this extreme pain. Any day now she said hopefully he starts to graft and he will slowly turn a corner.
They say that usually from day 14 to day 21 most people start to graft, until then all this will just get worse before it can get better. Good news is though she said that once he starts to slowly graft he will turn that corner and the mouth.throat sores, linings, extreme pain, rashes, nausea, diarrhea it will all start to slowly get better. For now I just keep praying to the Lord, please continue to give him strength. Please allow him some relief, little breaks of rest, please bless his body that it will start to en graft, respond and that his donor's marrow will become his marrow. Bless Eric with love, peace and comfort- that he knows how much we love him and that he feels our prayers and most of all feels the angels that surround him to bear him up. Many scriptures I hold onto right now: "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you...Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:18,27 "Whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." Alma 36:3 " Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10. Through the night as I lay awake watching Eric finally sleep and worried I kept having one of my favorite child primary songs run over and over in my mind. "Child's Prayer" ..."Lord, Are you there? Do you hear my prayers?"
Tammie I was showing Trey the pictures of Eric cuz he asked about him today and wanted to see where he was. We were playing animals and he said his polor bear had cancer like Eric and had to go to the hospital. I guess I realized then that even Trey is worrying about Eric and telling me in his own way. When he say this picture of Eric in his bed sleeping he said "Mom maybe Jesus will come and hold him and make him alive again. I just started to cry. OH Trey I told him, maybe...we all all praying that the lord pleases him with more time. We really need him to get better. I then asked Trey do you want me to tell Eric anything from you, I can type it to him and he said "Yes mom, tell him we love you Uncle Eric we miss you, can't wait to see you, maybe your hair will come back and you want have any cancer and you want have to live at the hosptail anymore, Make sure you know we do care about you and we do love you. Make sure you feel better, make sure you tell Uncle Eric we love you sooo sooo much and we do pray for you and care about you.And make sure you feel better. So there you have it the words of a little 4yr.old boy with one of biggest hearts. He really said that all on his own. Maybe that is your hope for this hour. I pray God gives you all more each min. of the day. So sorry you have to go through this. Just a another sad/cute note Trey is now on his play cell phone and texting Eric. Honestly I never know how much this was affecting Trey. I talk about Eric and we pray for him, I guess Trey just hears all that and feels it too. I hope your kids are ok. If it is getting to Trey it must be hurting them so much. YOu are all in our prays. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteTrey just said mom I text Eric again and told him I know something that will make Eric happy. I said what. Trey said I told him everyones names Chelsea, Austin, Me, Jo Jo, Nana,etc.... will come and see you tomorrow. I told Trey oh he would just love that but they are far away right now so we can only write.Just thought you should know that he trully loves and worry's for you.
ReplyDeleteEric you are a fighter and we are praying for you. We wish there was something we could do to help you through this ordeal, but we hope that you know we are thinking about you. Tammie thank you so much for keeping your blog updated, it is so nice being able to read and see how Eric and you are doing. I think his spirits are going to be lifted when he is able to see your kids in a week or so. May God keep Eric in his arms during these terrible times. Hopefully we will be hearing some good news soon.
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