A day of expectations...BUSY WEEK

Sorry again on the delay between being here for work and working so much as well as the kids both have had big end of term projects I have been helping them on for school- it has been sure hard to update the blog and function! Alot going on! I am so glad to be home the past few weeks but it certainly has not been a break or to visit with the kids- I have had to work so much sometimes 8am til 8pm at night just trying to get to all my clients and see them before I go back to Texas Sunday.

It will be nice to get back to Eric and feeling like I didn't abandon him for work. I hate being away from him but at least he has been doing better and not as bad as he was when I left. He has been about the same this week with some days a little yucky and slower than others. His bloods counts and levels are pretty good. His white cells are 5.4, red cells 3.21 and hematocrit 10.3 and platelets 51. That is good, today is day 49 - one more day and we are at the half way mark for the 100 days! YEAH!!!

I am so proud of my kids, they have had to do so much on their own and be so responsible! I wished they did not have to go through this but I know they are stronger for it! I am very lucky to have 2 good responsible kids whom have handled it so well and been so good. It doesn't always work out that way.

Eric wants to get home so bad, he keeps trying to get the doctors to give him a firm date for December and they won't! They told him that it all depends on how he is doing then and it's to far away to give any dates! I feel sorry for the doctors cause he is not going to stop until he can get home! I love him so much and he has been through so much not only physically but emotionally! He is strong and I know the Lord continues to protect him and help him through this. At the end of the day all we can do is our best and seek council and guidance from the Lord. As long as we are doing that somehow everything will work itself out and be fine. I know these thoughts are what continue to get me as well as Eric and the kids through this!

There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are or what you should do? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice and how you handle things with grace and dignity? Will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up- what will you choose? We are choosing NOT TO GIVE UP and to try to face this trial with as much honor and dignity we can despite how hard and alone it is! Some may want to watch you fail and suffer but we know we will prevail with the Lord's help and love!

I can not say into to words how much the Lord has helped us and how grateful we are! Personally I have always had a strong relationship with the Lord but it has became so much more stronger. There have been hours, minutes, seconds where I felt we will not get through this and that we can not bear one more moment- then the Lord comforts me and has been there when no one else has and helped me get through the next second or hour! I have seen and watch what I feel most people do not get a chance in life to see very often ( I would hope most of us do not ever have to see that), I have had to watch my husband whom I love with all of me suffer and be brought to deaths door and fight and struggle so hard to come back. To as our good friend Matt Clark said "climb out of the depths of hell" he has been in and I could not ever wish that on anyone. No person should ever have to go through that but with that being said my faith in the Lord and my testimony has grown so much! My trust in the Lord and in the plan of salvation and the knowledge we all have of our faith and belief in the Lord has been the very thing that has brought me such peace and comfort!

I know I am not perfect and that I have so much more to learn and become better but what I do know is that I am trying to be like Him , like Jesus ( I am hearing the Primary song right now in my head)and I am trying to learn the lessons he has me and my family learning. I may not be the best person and the best Wife, Mom but I know that my heart is good and with good intentions and I would never hurt anyone and that as long as I allow the Lord in my heart and soul I will be fine!