Hard past few days...

I am sorry for the delay in posting but we received some pretty sad news late Saturday night and I have not been able to post anything out of one not sure what to say or think but also was a little in shock. Our good friends in Texas the Clark family whom have done so much for us found out that Jodie's cancer is back! :( It seems so unbelievable to us and so devastating, I really can not put words to express how deeply sad we are!

We know she is strong and such a ANGEL and inspiration to all of us, we are just sad and heart broken that it has returned! Jodie we love you, Matt and the kids and just as you have been there for us we will be there for you! Please pray for Jodie Clark and the Clark family! We know God has a plan for all of us and that miracles do happen everyday, we have seen it and we know that there is power in prayers!

Eric and I just sat and cried and looked at each other in disbelief after we talked to the Clark's on the phone. Sometimes although we have faith in the Lord you question why? How much more can anyone endure? How many times can you go through this wicked thing we call "CANCER"? It is so hard to be told you have cancer the first time but when you get some of your normalicy back, when you are in remission and you start to forget about the "CANCER LIFE" you had then to be told that it's back, that you have cancer again. There are no words to describe to those feelings!

Jodie and I were talking about how being told you have cancer the second time well the process of your feelings are so much more different then the first time. Jodie and I were saying how the first time your cry and cry for months and months pretty much out of control with no real hope or direction. Then when you are told that you have cancer the second time well if it makes sense at all you don't cry as much about the fear of the unknown, you know because you have already mourned your old "BEFORE CANCER LIFE". You cry now for the process you know you will have to endure again, for fact that you have to return to the "CANCER WAY OF LIFE". It is almost like well ignorance is bliss as I have said before, although hard it is sometimes better and easier to not know what you are headed for, not know the road you are about to take.

The Lord is there however for all of us and I have never felt alone, he has comforted us and me on so many occasions when everyone else has been gone- the Lord is ALWAYS THERE FOR US! Jodie is such an amazing person whom has been such an example to so many and I know the Lord has AMAZING BLESSINGS in store for her. Jodie "Doubt not, fear not."

As for us and Eric we are getting by ok. Eric's tacrolimus level is incredibly high still so they are changing his dosage to see if that will help at all. It's all a fine line. Eric's energy is low and he has been pretty tired lately. He apologizes for just sleeping and laying down but as I told him his body has been and continues to be going through so much. It will be a while before he can get more energy back, more like himself. We are so grateful to his donor, so grateful for our blessings and continue to strive to getting Eric healthy again.