Results are in....

Sorry for the delay everyone it took them a little longer to get all the final results in and call us from his doctors in Texas at MD Anderson Cancer Center.. but they are in and they are good!! Eric's bone marrow results still show no signs of cancer and no abnormalities in his cells and his genetics show he is still 100% grafted with his donors cells! YESSSSSS!!!!!! We are so grateful to his donor and the Lord for this wonderful blessing! It has been a hard road and we still continue down this journey and know we will for years but we are glad to be where we are however mindful daily of how quickly things can change.

As many of you know from my last post Eric's good friend whom we meet in the hospital down at MD Anderson Cancer Center Patrick who has the same cancer as Eric MDS Myleodisplastia from Florida has relapsed and rejected his transplant and not doing well at all- his cancer has now turned into a secondary cancer Accute Lukemia. We got a phone call from his mom Thursday that he has been moved into ICU and has pneumonia and been placed on oxygen like what happened to Eric during his transplant. He has been graded like Eric was a level 4 and the next level 5 is death they told his mom to get all his brothers ans sisters and family flown in to say their goodbyes and to call their priest which they did. Eric has been devastated! He has been so upset by the news he just keeps saying why, why can't Patrick be blessed and be doing good he is such a great guy. I think it has really scared Eric especially with the recent reducing Eric's GVHD (Graft Vs Host) medications and the risks we are facing right now he said to me " That could be me in a few weeks you know, I could be doing good and then all the sudden back in the hospital" It is scary for me and the kids but of course more for Eric he is the one that has had to fight so hard to stay alive, to come from the brinks of death and climb back to life- every day knowing that tomorrow is not promised and hoping for it all at the same time.

Eric is a very brave and amazing man, I have learned so much from him about love, courage, faith, strength and the appreciation for every moment. He is truly my HERO and I am so blessed to be his eternal companion. That being said as strong as he is I can see the fear and discouragement in his eyes, he doesn't have to say it - you look at him and see it there. He was saying to me the other day how sorry he is that the kids and I have had to deal with his cancer life and the stress, worry and hardship it has brought to us but I told him I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything! I mean that it has been hard but the Lord has carried us through and I know no matter what he will always continue to carry us. For that I am grateful and I feel a great sense of humbleness and gratitude.

The kids have been doing good...Austin has been busy with basketball camp, U of U Football camp which he has loved with Bradeon Godfrey teaching him (one of his idols), his baseball team has went to the Allstar Babe Ruth Tournament with nightly games and if they win tonight they continue on the the Championships!! We had to miss all this and we are trying to make up for lost time when we were gone for 5 months to Texas for Eric's transplant. Eric said to me the other day while we were watching Austin do a double play getting first base player and then the second baseman out all in the double play " Did you ever think that we would be here, right now again- I 'll be honest I had my doubts but I am glad I am here!" He is right we are so grateful! Chelsea has been busy with extra college classes she is taking on line, working, cheerleading and this week she has been gone to Girls Camp and I MISS HER SOOOO MUCH!!! She left Monday and she won't be home until Friday and its killing me! I know you would think that less laundry, no loud music, cleaning up after her and early cheer mornings I would be celebrating ( Eric says he is enjoying it) I would be happy but I miss her so much! It's so bad I found out that Heidi Finklea in our ward was going up to Girls Camp this morning and I ran a letter to Chelsea up to her and begged her to give it to Chelsea and give her a BIG HUG from me cause I MISS HER SO MUCH!

I know you would think a week would be no big deal right after having to leave them for 5 months for Eric's transplant in another state but I NEVER WANT TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEM AGAIN LIKE THAT! I hated being away from them. It was really hard for them and I really thought it would be Austin that would have had the hardest time but it was harder on Chelsea she said she hated and emotionally she has really struggled with that and still does. She said even though she knew we made a family decision that it was the best for Eric and his cancer to get this transplant and treatments down in Texas she felt abandoned, alone it was hard when everyone else had their Mom and Dad their for them in high school being a sophomore and everything new- she felt abandoned. For that I am so heartbroken and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that to her. I always said it was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do in my life, leave my children behind almost like I had left them/ abandon them and try to care and fight to save Eric's life.

As for Eric as I mention he is doing pretty good some days less energy and his memory short terms he struggles but the doctors say that is common post transplant and that some of that is also his medications. They say he will get better with all that over time. He is getting excited he convinced the doctors to let him go back to work ( suppose to be very little at first part time) Eric doesn't know the meaning of slow, little bit at a time ever since he has started to feel slightly better March on he has been talking about returning to work ( I think it to soon- the doctors have all told us usually a bone marrow transplant patient doesn't return to work until 2-3 years after the transplant - it hasn't even been a year yet! He was trying to go back to work around August but his work has been pressuring him to come back sooner, they wanted him back on 7/1/10 but he explained no way due to his doctors and them decreasing his medications right now and its so risky right now so I guess they settled for 7/19/10 he will return. I am not so sure about it and I think its to soon but what can I do he needs his job and medical insurance, he loves his job and wants to feel like he is providing again for us. Plus we start our lovely insurance fees and out of pocket again 7/1/10...his work goes from 7/1/09 to 6/30/10 and then the year starts over again on 7/1/10. So as of 7/1/10 we have to pay up front for his medications and medical bills the first $8,000.00 right away which will be within the first two weeks of July in his medications alone due to his prescriptions costs over $ 10,000.00 a month alone and so we will hit the $8,000.00 right away in the meds which is hard for us due to you can't do payments for pharmacies/ prescriptions...You pay the full price right then at the pharmacy or NO MEDICATION!

It's been a struggle but I continue to pray it will get better and we will be blessed because if there is one thing we have learned through all this - on paper this shouldn't have worked out, we should have lost everything by now and countless times we have continued to put our faith, trials and struggles to the Lord and he has always provided a way, a door opened, a miracle, another blessing. We feel alot of the times like maybe the Lord is getting sick of the blessings and miracles being handed to us but we continue to pray, be hopeful and grateful. Thank you to all of you whom have blessed us with your love, support, prayers, fasting on our behalf we know it has been from all of your prayers!!