Doing Good!

Well since we received the good news on Eric's bone marrow biopsies and tests from Texas we have had some good steps forward. Eric's home health nurses do not come now anymore, we just go into the doctors weekly every Friday. That is good.. we miss all his sweet nurses though that became like part of our family while caring for Eric- they did a great job and we are so grateful to them!! Eric's blood counts and level this week look good, they are all still in the critical low abnormal level but doing ok. His white cells are at 3.8 and his red blood cells are doing very well at 4.29, his Hemoglobin at 14.4 and his platelets for the first time in 8 years they are at 99 today!! Can you believe that he has not been this high for 8 years at least- how amazing!! Normal is 140,000 to 450,000 so still way off and low but the best he has been in 8 years so we will take it!!

We are so grateful to the Lord for all our blessings and we recognize his hands in our lives. We have been given so many blessings and miracles that we are so grateful for. We are so grateful for his donor whom without his unconditional love and donating Eric his bone marrow - Eric would not be alive today! As we are coming up on Conference weekend and we remember Christ's Resurrection and the Atonement I am overwhelmed with emotions. I feel a deep appreciation and love for Christ and all he went through for us. Watching Eric come to deaths door and slowly climb out of deaths grips back to life brought such an amazing love and appreciation for Christ and his Resurrection. So many scriptures remind us of all he has done for us and what we must do to live with him again. " I am the resurrection, and the life he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." John 11:25-26

I feel like this is Eric's new beginning, like his rebirth from his bone marrow transplant... a new fresh start, a new life free hopefully of all cancer and a rebirth to a new chapter in our lives. I love spring time I always have. The beautiful new bloom on the spring flowers, that come up out of the cold wintery left soil blooming with new life- beautiful colors of hope,new beginnings and new start. I am excited for the spring and the season to change cause with that comes new hope and experiences that we have learned to cherish so much in life! Eric has taught me so much but one of the most precious things I have learned from him is courage and perseverance, to NEVER GIVE UP! He has always shown that but through out his bone marrow transplant he has been a true example of that to me and my children. As Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin quoted " Never Give Up! Perseverance is a positive, active characteristic. It is not idly hoping for some good thing to happen.... It gives us hope by helping us realize that the righteous suffer no failure except in giving up and no longer trying." Eric did this- he did not give up on living, he fought for every breathe he takes and to be alive. For that and him I am grateful... so grateful. We are so grateful and will cherish every second we have forever!!

Recent Reflections...

Today I find myself reflecting alot lately on several blessings and things that I am so grateful for. The obvious recent trial that if you can believe it or not I am so thankful for...I am thankful for the Lord blessing Eric with more time, better health, a donor whom had unconditional love and saved his life. Recently though I have been reflecting on the hardest past year of my life and what I have gained and lost throughout this trial. One hopes and prays that when and if you have to face such a trial as we have had to that you would have overwhelming love and support... we have had that but we have also lost some relationships throughout this trial that have been extremely hard especially for me. I have lost alot but in turn have gained alot of love and support from new relationships, new bonds for which I am eternally grateful.

I think the hardest part of losing or not having support is the hurt you feel from it and most of all the void in your life but with that being said it has truly caused me to reflect on the Mom and person I am for my children and how I would do anything for them. I would never want them to feel or go through what I have had to endure the past year when you are already suffering and going through so much more pain trying to fight for your husband's life and save him, leaving your children back home feeling like you have abandoned them when you are just trying to save your husbands life and have more time as a family. I love to read the Ensign and I am looking forward to conference coming up in a few weeks, it seems like I always need to be spiritually feed when conference comes around.

There is several articles from the Ensign this month that I love... one that caused me to reflect the most was "What Mothers Can Learn from the Savior" by Amy Morgan. It talks about simple ways that we can be good mothers and draw guidance and support from the Lord. I don't know about alot of you mothers out there but I always feel and know I can do better, I want to be better for my two children. I want them to know that no matter what happens in life, what challenges and decisions they make I will always be there to support and love them, I will always be there to listen to them, guide them and sometimes just let them cry on my shoulder with no real way that I can fix what is hurting them but I am just there to love and listen to them. It gives several points like: Spend time with our children, Pray for our children, Help Our Children Love the Sabbath, Teach faith in Heavenly Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ, Make Time for Teaching and Learning, Remember a Mother's Calling... the one that struck me the most though was Quiet Your Fears with Faith in the Lord.... I can not tell you how much that speaks to my heart! I countless times would pray and ask the Lord " What if this is Eric's time to go and I am left to raise my two beautiful children on my own....Lord I don't think I can do it on my own, I will mess everything up without Eric's help" I would always get a peaceful feeling and thoughts would stream through my head as if the Lord was directly telling me " You are not alone, you can and will get through this, have faith and I will provide you the strength for whatever comes your way" I know that is so true... I would never get answers right away, things wouldn't just magically get better, we still have to go through the trial, I still had to watch my husband at the brinks of death fight his way back step by step until he could walk again but I learned so much about love, strength, life, faith and sometimes just knowing that I couldn't fix this, I can't take this away from my kids, ,from Eric or even from myself but what I can do- is as we all have heard try to find "Joy In the Journey" ..that's not easy when you are watching your eternal companion and children suffer so much. The key is to endure it well...

I will end this somewhat weird blog posting (sorry the Ensign really hit me) with a quote that I think says it all by President Boyd K. Packer " If you are helpless, he is not. If you are lost, he is not. If you don't know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not? " I have seen my miracle, I have seen alot of them and I am humbled and grateful. Most of us as mothers know this feeling and I know with the Lord all things are possible. I am so grateful to my two wonderful children whom make Eric and I so proud, we are blessed to be able to be trusted with them from the Lord and I will always strive to be a better mother for them. I love you Chelsea and Austin... it has been the hardest year but I am so proud of who you are and the love and faith you have! I am honored to be your mother!!!

The Results Are In....

We have been waiting for Eric's bone marrow biopsies results and all his tests results which the prelim were in last week but finally his doctors from Texas called us late afternoon yesterday with the final results.....Eric is 100% grafted with his donors cells, no cell abnormalities, no blasts and no signs of cancer!!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!! We are so happy, in his doctors words " He is right were we want him at, he is doing fantastic!"

We are so grateful to the Lord and for his donor whom has saved his life! As we know its still a long road left of our journey but we are through the worst of it so far and we are so grateful. I am so proud of Eric and how he always has a positive attitude pushing himself to get back to a normal life! What a blessing and miracle to have him doing so well and I couldn't be more grateful!

Back from Texas...

We are back from Texas. We were gone for 4 days last week and arrived home Thursday afternoon. It was a good visit we were able to see our friends the Clark family and visit which was so fun! We had all day testing and bone marrow biopsies, PET scan, CT scan and blood work starting at 5:30am. We finished up for the day around 2:30pm and went back to the hotel to let Eric sleep after such a long day and his hip sore from the bone marrow biopsy.

We meet with his doctors whom stated they are pleased with Eric's progress right now he is where they want him as far as his recovery goes. We asked them on purpose to not call us with the prelim results in a week and to wait for full 2 weeks to have all his final DNA test results back so what happened last time doesn't happen again. We do not want a week of pain and despair like last time from the pathologist reading the blood spears and bone marrow differently when the DNA results confirm the actual results. So we should have the results possibly next week sometime.

Eric has been still doing pretty good, about the same in energy. His main doctor- Dr. Hosing was a little shocked and taken back when she first saw Eric. She walked in the room and the very first thing she said was " Eric you are so skinny and lost more weight? Are you eating?" He really has done better he eats about a meal a day with a few snacks which has been good for him. We are surprised she said that cause he has actually gained back about 10 pounds since we came home in December but he stills is skinny but he looks stronger and not so weak. He feels better and has some of his muscles back in his legs and arms. He even started to work out a little bit the past few weeks on the treadmill, lifting light weights and arm bands strengthening. All in all he is doing pretty good. I am posting a picture of Eric with his main doctor Dr. Hosing. She is such a great doctor, very smart and loves Eric!

Eric's blood counts are ok still holding on... his White Cells did drop down to 3.1 but his Red Blood Cells are good still at the 3.84 and his hemoglobin at 12.3 so that is good. His platelets are holding on at 69 at least stable and not consistently dropping. All in all pretty good, the doctors feel he is doing good so they dropped his home health nurse will only come one day a week with us still going into his doctor office here at home on Friday's. So we are plugging along with Eric's recovery. I am so proud of him, he never complains and has his wonderful sense of humor that makes us all laugh. I am so grateful for him and for his donor who saved his life. I am grateful to our Heavenly Father for all our blessings and the gospel. What peace and comfort it brings to our lives.

I will continue to be so grateful to the Lord for allowing us more time and the blessings we have received. Austin is working on his Eagle project and it has been a project close to our hearts. He has chosen to collect donations, blankets, juices, water bottles, sprite's, crackers for 7 local chemo rooms to help the chemo patients through their difficult journey and treatment. He also will be passing out and educating others on how to become a bone marrow donor on the National Bone Marrow Registry List to save someones life- like his Dad's life was saved. Not many people know the process and how to even be a donor, we sure didn't until our journey. If we can help save someones life and brighten cancer patients than it makes everything all worth it. I am proud of him for deciding this project and wanting to make a difference. Isn't it amazing to see what good can come from trials?

What an amazing reward as a parent and mother to see your children get it, to see them understand how they can make a difference in someones life and to want to pay it forward!!

Off To Texas....

Well it has been a ok week- Eric's had a little less energy the past week and for some reason his nueropathey pain has returned in the feet. His counts have been holding on there, not as high as we want them but ok. His White cells yesterday were 3.4 and his Red cells dropped a little to 3.72 with his Hemoglobin at 12.7 and Hematocrit 35.5. His creatinine is good at 1.10 and his tacromlimuis level we are happy is at 6.0. So pretty good although we want his White cells to get back to the 4.0's and up on their own but we will take it.

We fly out on Monday 3/1/10 for Texas for 4 days to meet with all of Eric's transplant doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Eric has been getting pretty worked up about going, I think for him it is really hard especially it brings back all he has been through and brings up the fears and possibility of the test results and what they will be. He said he is scared he will be told bad news and they won't let him leave and keep him there at the hospital but I reassured him they have to let us at least come home because the results won't be in for all the tests and biopsies until a week to 2 weeks.....

I understand what he feels, I to silently have fears and have been praying very hard that the results will still be good. That we will hear back that he is still accepting the transplant and that he is still hopefully 99 % grafted with his donors cells. Last time we had just arrived home when the very next day we were called and told devastating news that he had rejected and his cancer was back and he needed to do another bone marrow transplant-ughhh! We were blessed with another miracle and blessing and the DNA results came back that the pathologist was wrong! We are so grateful to Eric's donor and we think of him often throughout the day...what an amazing thing to do for a complete stranger. We pray for him and his family and look forward to the day we can met and show him our overwhelming love and gratitude.

We hate leaving the kids again but at least we know this time instead of 5 months its only for 4 days....We are so grateful to the Lord for allowing us these miracles and blessings and pray for his continued strength and guidance. So off we go to pack and get a few things ready to fly out Monday...

Update...

I was waiting for Eric's results faxed to me from his home health nurse but Eric is still doing pretty good. We have had the last 3 weeks with no IV fluid treatments needed and no Nuepogen shots since his counts are holding their own right now- YEAH!!! Eric's energy has been pretty good, he is not requiring as many naps throughout the day so that is a good sign.

Some days are a little better than others- today for example he doesn't feel very well but it comes and goes. His counts look pretty good right now, we are very happy with them. His White Cells went back up on their own to 4.5, his Red Cells good at 3.76 with his Hemoglobin is 36 which is good and Hematocrit 12.9. His platelets did go down to 69 but hopefully we will see them after today's blood draw and labs that they went up....

We leave in less than 2 weeks now for Texas for Eric's doctors appt's and follow up tests with his bone marrow transplant doctors at MD Anderson. We are a little nervous but you always are it's just part of the game from this fun life of cancer. We have had a good few weeks with the kids, spending time as a family and they are loving it. On Valentines Day Chelsea and Austin gave Eric a card and it was neat to see what they feel and how grateful they are. Chelsea put "Dad you are the strongest man I know and I am so glad you are doing good and home with us now- I love you" Austin put "Dad you are my hero!! I am soooo glad you and Mom are home to spend time with us again!"

We are very blessed to be home and that Eric is doing good right now. I am so grateful for Eric's donor, for his unconditional love. What an amazing feeling it must be to know that you saved someones life and out of unconditional love!! We are so grateful to him and can not wait until we can meet him. I am thankful to the Lord for continuing to bless us with more miracles and blessings and allowing us more time as a family!! :)

Day 154 from Transplant....

Go COLTS.....WAIT Go SAINTS!

1st PLACE-State Champs- Woods Cross High Cheer Team!!!

Today is day 154 from Eric's bone marrow transplant date 9-9-09.....We are still plugging along this journey with hope. We have had a busy past week...Chelsea's Woods Cross High School Cheer Team Squad has been competing the past few weeks they took 1st place at all their competitions and then this past Saturday I was able to take Eric with his mask on to see her perform at their State Competitions and they won STATE CHAMPS- 1st PLACE!!! YEAHHH! We are so proud of her and her team-they have worked hard! That was fun to see her for the first time this year perform since we have been gone to Texas for Eric's transplant. In the past we have never missed any of her performances so to be able to have been there was fun!

Then the Super Bowl- as many know we were hoping the Colts would win that is our family's team. The Saints did good and pulled it out, it was a good game. It was so nice for me to be able to watch Eric and Austin doing one of the things they love to do together- watching football! I have missed that, I couldn't help but watch them and the joy in their eyes and faces and say a pray that I am so grateful that Eric is home again with us and safe, doing well and enjoying family time again. I have missed seeing that and what joy as you can see from the pictures I posted. Austin has this routine he does he surrounded our living room in all Colts memorabilia and attire, Colts helmets, jerseys, flags, everything colts then on the other half of the living room Saints memorabilia. Then on the table in front of the TV he had a Saints VS Colts helmets facing each other as if he was the TV sports commentator HAHA! The whole game he had on all his Colts gear/jersey then in the final stages of the game the moment we knew Colts had lost by that interception Saints got scoring the touchdown that put them away ahead he switched into all his Saints gear HAHAHA!! He is so funny and a good sport even though Colts should have won it!

All that fun family stuff aside Eric has been doing alot better this past 2 weeks. As I had posted we were so happy he has not had to do the IV treatments and Nuepogen shots the past 2 weeks since his counts went up on their own. He did drop this week just barely on his white cells went down to 3.8, red blood cells are ok at 3.70, hemoglobin at 13.0 which is good, and his platelets holding in their at 76 - again normal on those is 140,000 to 440,000. I am a little worried with his white cells dropping again down to 3.8 I am hoping that the results from today's blood work will show they went up again and not down. If we get to the 2.3 's to 2.6 again we have to do Nuepogen shots so we are hopeful. Eric's energy has been better this week he did get tired from going to watch Chelsea perform so that was a little set back but was grateful to be able to see her.

Everyday little blessings and miracles happen some with Eric and some with others. We are so thankful to the Lord that Jodie Clark's test results came back benign for her cancer what a miracle. We know the power of prayers and fasting is what brought her that miracle. She is such an inspiration and miracle to us and we are grateful to the Lord for blessing her and her family! We are getting prepared for flying to Texas to meet with Eric's transplant doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center. We fly out on 3/1/10 to 3/4/10, we are little more anxious for these tests results and visits. I can not believe this is Eric's 3 month mark- I pray and hope for continued strength for Eric. We are so grateful for all our blessings and Eric's donor.